Diary

Mom's Memoirs.

There exist somewhere fragments of a diary  - a book that my father started when I was born,-  and which contains some entries by my mother in Polish; I used this diary for occasional entries myself, mostly in the form of essays, but then used it to pour out all my raw feelings about René. Later I destroyed that part of the diary, because I found it too embarrassing! 

Mom continued to use that same diary after she could write herself, mostly in German, but in French a bit when she gets to Geneva. Granny wrote in Polish, but there are three early entries in French (handwriting looks different?). So far, I have gotten the German and French transcribed, and am adding those  and the Google translate versions. I have broken this up some, so separate pages for when she wrote while in high school and in Geneva. 

Translation of French entries:

July 12 [1920]

Jeanne screams....

Jeanne greeted the world with a piercing cry.

It was a very special cry, loud and sharp and I don't remember hearing it ever since. Bathed and dressed, the child calmed down and slept for a few hours. But either hunger or stomach aches, caused by impurities swallowed during birth, the little one cried with small intervals only, 4 days and nights.

It was a great sadness for mother. “What is wrong with this child?” – “But nothing at all,” said the guard. Unreassured and assured that the child had some illness*, I bothered the doctors who, influenced by my concern, examined the little one and found nothing. The 5th day. The little one was already putting longer intervals into her cry. One of the first days, I remember, the little one who wanted to suck her fingers was prevented by the cuff which unfolded and covered the whole skin. Annoyed by this little obstacle, she began to let out her cry, which always began with a kind of cough. screaming screams. So, I got used to distinguishing her anger. Today, aged 7 weeks, she already expresses several desires through different cries. – When she is sleepy, she cries very quietly, calms down at times to suck her fingers, drops them, cries again and while crying and calming down, she falls asleep. – Quite different is her cry when she is hungry.

She also begins very gently, but her little cry is then very lamentable; or would have said that she needs something and begs you to help her. It's very touching! But if mom judges that it is not yet time and waits to satisfy her hunger, the little one becomes more and more impatient, the cries become louder, and in the end she begins to howl in such a way that mom no longer waits for the hour, and quickly, quickly, losing her head, she changes the diapers indiscriminately and puts the little tyrant to her breast. Then, Jeanne, with the most innocent air in the world, as if the whole affair did not concern her, begins to drink with strong and rhythmic suckings, happy with her victory...

Hunger appeased, we put little Jeanne in her bed. In most cases, Jeanne falls asleep quite quickly, after a little whining or sucking her fingers. But sometimes things happen differently. Jeanne, satisfied and very comfortable, is ready to play. She looks around, smiles (that is, widens her mouth and shows her gums, without teeth) and then she is so funny and so pretty, at the same time, that it's really too difficult to leave her . So mom allows herself to stay a little near her, talk to her, smile at her, but, alas! she can only repent of it!

Just walk away. From bed let the music begin. First there are cat meows, then sounds like oua... oua... and at the end piercing, howling notes. Jeanne growls, these are capricious cries. After letting her scream for a while, either approach her, or try to deceive her, by putting her on the other side, but, in general, this has no effect; she only falls asleep after being very tired by her cry. It is especially in the morning after the night's rest and in the afternoon after the morning sun that Jeanne is most prone to whims. After the bath and also after the 10 a.m. – evening rest she falls asleep almost immediately. Once, in the morning when Jeanna didn't want to go, I allowed myself to be weak and took her in my arms. I noticed she was cold. I covered her well and in a few moments, Jeanne fell asleep soundly in my arms. It can be said that Jeanne is quite regular in her cries; so her crying at unusual times always has a cause. On the 10th and 11th of this month Jeanne had stomach aches, she cried but calmed down after sealing her. At night, Jeanne sleeps until 5.5 1⁄2 a.m.; then she wakes up, starts to move, but she has enough tact not to shout until I come to her house, c. to right. until 6.6 1⁄2 p.m. This countenance is not easy for the poor thing; From time to time we hear deep sighs and angry babbling. So she compensates herself after the meal; she then cries quite loudly, but more often than not she falls asleep for another hour or two.

July 28.

How she eats...

Jeanne weighed 8 pounds when she was born.

She came 2 weeks after due date and she was a big, strong child who already had a big appetite, while mom still had very little milk. She was put to the breast some twenty hours after the birth and immediately Jeanne ([...] […] skilful) latched onto the breast of such a skilful shepherd, as if she only ever did that… D' with an important and serious air, she sucked with all her might, but only extracted a few drops of colostrum which did not satisfy her at all. Her cries during the first four days were perhaps caused by the hunger she constantly felt. [On the 4th day, she took 20 to 30 gr at each meal. of milk, which made him approximately 180 gr. per day. The first 4 weeks I breastfed him 6 times at 20 min.; (with 3 hour intervals between meals) the rations increased with each meal and already on the 7th day, it happened that she got up to 130 gr. at a time. Since I had a lot of milk, soon she began to gain 150-160 gr. per meal. She was becoming too oily and even because of my diet, small spots of redness appeared on her face and her legs. He had to breastfeed 5 times every 15 minutes. (with intervals of 4 hours) and even for 2 weeks 5 times at 10 min. only. During these 2 weeks her weight only increased by 100 grams. but his complexion became very pure. Now we breastfeed him again 5 times at 15 min.; skin impurities no longer appear, his weight increases by 170 gr. per week. – ]

The first weeks, Jeanne felt hungry long before the meal. She showed great impatience when her diapers were changed, grasped her breast eagerly and was in such a hurry while drinking that she often "had a ridge in her throat" and then the guard had to hold her vertically and pat him on the back. We saw that the action of eating was a lot of work for the little one; the poor thing, while eating, got very tired. She was sweating, sighing and clenching her little fists with such force that they turned a purple color. It was only after a few minutes, when the first hunger had subsided, that Jeanne began to drink with regular, rhythmic sucking, with a characteristic gurgle. Now, her way of eating has changed a little: she is always in a good mood when we change her, grabs the breast less greedily and begins to drink immediately with strong and regular sucking. She gets less tired, no longer sighs, but her fists are still clenched and purple in color. She presses them to her chest so strongly that it is impossible for me to open them, and only, as she drinks, her fists open, become whiter and at the end, when she is completely satisfied, her hands fall freely along her body. So, I always judge by her little hands whether Jeanne has finished eating. When her hands are very white and she moves with her fingers – she is satisfied, she is completely at ease. –

September 20

How her way of eating has changed since then! Now, all you have to do is take her out of her little bed and she will change her mood immediately; her cries screech, she sleeps and turns her little head so as not to lose sight of me. When I take her on my lap, she drops her two fingers from her mouth and searches for the breast with her little tec, whereas two weeks ago she sucked her fingers even more stubbornly before breastfeeding. and I had to use force to remove them from him. I find this change very interesting and I consider it her first conscientious act. She now drinks very quietly and hardly rushes. Her experience of months has taught her that we let her drink good milk until she has enough and she perceives small distractions during the meal: she turns her head, contemplates the room plays with her hands and he It is often very difficult to get her to drink again.

Mom's diary continues in 1934.